Dance
by Martha
Summary: Placed after Separation Anxiety, Joey writes Pacey a letter


I wrote this on a whim, basically based, on LeeAnn Womack's iI Hope You Dance/iwhich as been on repeat on my computer for the past hour or so, probably more. I've had a HUGE problem with writer's block, and this is a ONE PARTER, meaning no more parts will be written to this. It's short, because I wrote it in a half an hour, and partially because it's the first thing I've written in forever.(This was written in November and posted on Pages of True Love)  
  
http://truelovefanart.homestead.com/files/dance.jpg  
  
Her already faltering breath quickened as the pen flew across the page in a rage of mixed emotions.  
  
i   
I don't know why or for what reason I'm writing this to you, because I believe that everything that had to be said was said, but not everything I was feeling then got to be told.  
  
Pacey, I'm sorry that it had to end like it did. I'm sorry I made you feel as if you were nothing, but you aren't nothing, you weren't nothing; you were my everything, and still are. I know I'll move on and have other loves, but a part of me will always be with you.   
  
I hope you never lose that sense of wonder in you, that you'll always starve for what you don't know, yearn for what you can't have. It's an endearing quality, and part of it made me fall in love with you. You're such an incredibly smart person Pace, you're going to go so far in life, and I know whatever you do and wherever you do it you'll be a star. You're going to shine, it's my turn to tell you that. Don't ever let anybody tell you you're not going to, because you can, and you will. I have all my faith in you.  
  
Love is so precious Pacey, what we shared was magical, and I can't tell you otherwise. I told so many lies throughout the course of our love, and I wish I hadn't because maybe it wouldn't have brought us to the end we had. I would give anything to not have made you feel that way, but please don't take love for granted as I did with you. Like I said love is precious, and giving your heart to me as you did means the world to me, so please don't take even a single breath for granted because it could be your last, just as you shouldn't take any loves for granted, because they could be your last. And if you do walk away from another relationship I hope that you don't leave without something, whether it be a lesson about love or life, or something more materialistic than that.  
  
If you ever get a new boat, and you sit on the decks remember what we shared, and that I'm out there somewhere remembering that summer, and thinking about the other summers that we could have had a head of us. Try not to dwell on what could have happened, I'm sure you're not, but if you are, don't. When you sit on your deck I hope you feel small against the ocean. You're one of a billion Pace. You're you, and nobody in this world can take that from you. Always be yourself; don't ever worry about anyone judging you.  
  
I hope that when one door closes in your life, that a better door opens. I hope that you go to college, that you learn what you didn't think you were worthy of. Because you deserve to go to college Pace, you're so incredibly smart—you just don't realize it. If you had as much faith in your self as I have in you you'd realize how much hope you have for your life.   
  
Give fate a fighting chance Pacey, let fate take over for once. Maybe that's what you did this time, I don't know, but if it was fate that broke us apart, maybe fate will bring us back together. And I'm not trying to sound like the meddlesome girlfriend who wants her ex back, even though I'm pretty sure that's how this is being read and taken.   
  
I hope that the future doesn't scare you that those mountains you see in the distance aren't something that you think of often, that when you come to them you scale them with ease and arrive at the summit with the finesse that I lack. And when you arrive on the other side that you look at the next one as if it were a challenge and pursue it with the intensity of which you pursued me. Don't take the easy way around, no matter how pleasing it seems, take the hard road it's more rewarding.  
  
Live, take the chances. I'm thankful that I took my chances with you, and that you took your chances with me. Being with you made me a better person, and I'm so incredibly sorry that it did the opposite to you, I assure you I never meant to make you feel any of those things and it tears me up inside every time I think about it.  
  
You may consider loving me was a mistake, but I hope you don't because loving you was undoubtedly one of the best things that ever happened to me. Even though I made you feel those things, I wouldn't take back what we had. We shared something amazing Pacey, what we had was incredible. I made many mistakes while we were together Pacey, but they were worth making, some of them at least, others I could have stood with out making, but I made them and I can't take them back now can I? And please, don't let what I've made you feel stop you from loving another, any woman is lucky to have you to call her own, I didn't realize this while I had it. Don't let me make you bitter; let me make you stronger. Learn to love again, and if you come close to love but pull back because of bad memories, reconsider; don't put yourself through unrequited love again. Speak out as you did with me, and let fate take over.  
  
Lastly Pacey, when you get the choice of whether to sit out or dance. Dance, Pacey. Dance and enjoy life. Don't let life pass you by. You said our dancing lessons were one of the things that made you fall in love with me, let it help you love another. Remember everything about someone else too, don't let what we've shared hinder what you have to give to someone else.   
  
Time is real, and our time is gone. I hope one day that this motion that we're going through of becoming friends again becomes constant so we can enjoy each other again. Remember what we shared Pacey, please. I'm sorry about how we ended, there were tears that should have never been cried, and there were things that shouldn't have been said. I just hope you dance, dance Pacey, let love take you and sweep you off your feet as it did for me, because it's an indescribable feeling that I wouldn't give back. I let myself dance with you; I only can hope that you do it with another.  
  
All my love,  
  
Joey  
/i  
  
Her hands shook as she folded her letter, and placed it in the envelope destined for her love lost. Able to put her words on paper her breathing settled. She remembered the many things that they'd shared; she remembered everything as he once had. She meant everything she said to him, she just wished that she would be able to do those things too, to dance. 


End file.
